Education for Life: Preparing Children to Meet the Challenges (Continued)


Please note direct word-for-word quotes from Education for Life are indicated by single quotation marks.

Chapter 6: Punishment and Reward (Maturity comes not by commandment, but by gradual recognition. How to wisely guide children so they learn from life's lessons and grow naturally in maturity)

'Education should be a means of encouraging, not of forcing, the development of wisdom.' 'For maturity comes not by commandment, but by gradual recognition.' The following chapter addresses how to wisely guide children so they learn from life's lessons and grow naturally in maturity. This chapter is best read in full: Chapter 6 in full can be found through this link.

Chapter 7: To What End? (Where does encouraging right behaviour and maturity ultimately lead?)


'The task of education is to attract children toward the ideals of maturity—that is, toward including others’ realities in their own. A child has a natural need to feel secure within boundaries already known to him. Fortunately for his own development, he also feels an inherent need to expand those boundaries, even though gradually, as he senses in himself the capability to push them outward.'

'Indeed, expansion is instinctive to life itself. The important thing to understand, especially where children are concerned, is that they need to be invited to grow toward maturity. The ever-expanding vision of reality that will be theirs during the growing-up process must be offered to them sensitively. Otherwise, instead of awakening their interest, it may repel them.'

'Many of the fantasies of childhood, for example, though they may appear foolish in the eyes of literal-minded adults, are important to children. If a child believes in Santa Claus, for instance, don’t disillusion him. Take him step by step, and not in one sudden leap, toward an understanding of things as they really are. If he is guided sensitively, he will keep the priceless gift of imagination, without which no great achievements in life are remotely possible.

'Again, a child needs to know what his limits are; he is unhappy if he receives no guideline at all. To be told, “No, you may not cross the street unattended,” may invoke in him an uncomprehending disagreement, but it is a necessary guideline nevertheless, and the very firmness of the limits it imposes will give him a sense of security.

'The child must be allowed to expand his understanding at his own pace. He should be encouraged, but never forced, in this direction by his adult mentors.'

'Some of the principles of right behavior may at first seem contrary to common sense. It seems like simple common sense, for example, to cater to our own needs even at the cost of the needs of others. Yet mature people have always endorsed unselfishness as more deeply self-fulfilling. If such a teaching, however, defies common sense in many adults, how can we expect children to embrace it easily? One even wonders whether the little ones don’t sometimes feel themselves lost in a wilderness of adult values.'

It can be very confusing for a child to understand the numerous explanations for right behaviour. '...There is however one overall explanation. It is one that can serve well for all the stages of a child’s journey toward true maturity, and is equally relevant for adults.'

'What people really want, at the heart of everything they do, is quite simple: They want to avoid the experience of pain, and to exchange it for the experience of happiness.'

When it comes to human behaviour: 'Kindness vs. cruelty, generosity vs. selfishness, calmness vs. nervousness, cheerfulness and similar positive attitudes vs. negativity and moodiness, sharing the credit vs. claiming all the credit for oneself: There lies at some level in every human being, even the most egocentric, a recognition at least that a choice is involved in each of these cases, and that this choice can be crucial in a person’s life.

'The choice is in fact more crucial than most people realize. Whatever the trait under discussion, the issues concerned can be explained with perfect clarity in these simple, basic terms: By right behavior, a person (a child, in this case) will avoid pain to himself; even more important, he will increase his own measure of happiness.'


Chapter 7 in full can be found through this link for those who want to go into greater depth.